The Southern Expat Communique: New York observations of a displaced belle

Humpty Dancin’ under Rue Sesame
13 April 10, 12:22 pm
Filed under: subway | Tags: , , ,

I am beginning to think the only noteworthy things that happen to me here are on the subway.  Okay, that’s not true, but that public transport system is fly paper for weird encounters aplenty, for sure.  I hope this one grabs ya in the biscuits….

I hopped on the B this morning, and the train conductor was enunciating really well, and that happens next to never.  “Stand clear of the closing doors” typically sounds like “Stanclerdors” or something to that unintelligible effect.  So, the guy this morning sounded like a broadcast journalist in comparison.  After 2 stops, I realize his voice reminded me of junior high, and I figured it out by the Rockefeller Center stop.  Digital Underground was driving my train.  I mean, the Humpty Dance could have blasted over the sad, subway speakers, and I would have not been surprised.  I honest to god went to look at the conductor when I hopped off at my stop.  I was sad to learn that there was no celebrity trying to be a regular dude for the day, but it sho did make me happy thinking that was the case.  Sometimes it’s best not to look. 

A slightly less entertaining interlude was observing the woman of a couple sitting next to me.  She was notably figitty, moving around from seat to seat, but I think she was just trying to find a subway map. She finally asked her husband a question, and she sounded just like Ernie of Seasame Street fame, but in French.  She had lots of questions about streets (rues in French), which made it even funnier to me.  I was disappointed that her husband did not sound like Bert or have a rubber duckie to illustrate a point.  I guess we can ask only so much of our tourists. 

Alright, y’all, I’m gonna get back to my oatmeal, lumpy, and all your crackers and your licorice. 

my boys from Le Rue Sesamethis guy once got busy in a Burger King bathroom, I hear.

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